Growing Pains

Before the butterfly emerges, it has to struggle its way out of the chrysalis. Without that struggle, the wings and body stay filled with fluid and it would never fly. It would never realize what it was created to be.

Before the Israelites could leave their lives of slavery and enter the land flowing with milk and honey, they had to wander for 40 years learning how to completely trust, depend on and obey God’s leading.

Learning to do life in a new culture is a struggle. Cooking in new ways, with new foods is difficult. Having a sick child in a foreign place is scary. New bugs and unidentified rashes are unsettling. There is no way to avoid these things. One simply has to endure, push through them and come out of the other side with more knowledge and experience.

Our sigiri and bag of charcoal for cooking

What my head knows as truth, but my heart fails to comprehend:

God grows us in and through our struggles. God strengthens us and prepares us for what is next by moving us out of our comfort zones. Growth and change are a sign that we are living, and we know in the end, that they are good.

Lately, I am relating a little too much to the Israelites. God provided every step of the way, but they remained a grumbly, complaining bunch. So much so, that at one point they BEGGED to return to slavery in Egypt because at least that was familiar to them. If they had their way, they would have remained as slaves rather than fulfill their roles as God’s chosen people in the Promised Land.

When there are ants trailing through the house or jiggers in our toes here, it is easy to let my mind wander back to Illinois, back to all that is familiar. Not because it is better there, but simply because it is comfortable there. I don’t want to go back, but it is easy to think for a moment, what if we just stayed home.

Dave and I weren't complaining about being in the chrysalis. Our family was living a beautiful, wonderful life of service in Illinois. We were content. We were comfortable. But we were in a chrysalis when God had something more wonderful and beautiful in store for us. He is revealing what that is to us day by day, and it is a gift each and every time we get a glimpse.

The kids at the Nile River

If we chose to stay comfortable:

• We would have missed the opportunity to immerse ourselves in a culture that is based on relationships. Greetings, conversations, and relationships matter more in Uganda than anything else that one might accomplish in a day. There is no such thing as small-talk. It is more fulfilling for a Ugandan to never accomplish what they set out to do, as long as they took time to talk with and pour into the people that they encountered that day. This is different, and can be a challenge when we are trying to get many things done, but it is also such a gift. Just this week the woman we buy beans from had a new baby and the man who delivers bananas to our home had a sister die in childbirth. We share in their joys and sorrows because they share them with us. It creates a closeness and prompts such  heartfelt prayers.

• The gifts and talents of our children would never have had the chance to emerge in such a beautiful, natural, unguarded way. There is freedom here for our kids that they don’t have in the US. No one is telling them that they can’t do certain things or telling them that these are grown up jobs. They are allowed to be leaders and use their own judgment.

We walk through a village, and if there is a baby crying outside of his home, Halie runs over, picks up that child and rocks and bounces until a smile emerges. She is often seen with at least 2 babies in her arms at once. No one is afraid or running to take the babies from her. She can be the little mommy that God gifted her to be. 

Chloe feels so deeply for others and has a strong sense of right and wrong. If someone is being mistreated by another or is hurt or is sad, she is instantly their protector. She is a safe set of arms and welcomes little ones to her lap, but to the instigators, whether they understand her or not, she is firm and clear and ready to correct their behaviors. 

Brice can walk silently through a day and seem like he is completely disconnected from all that is occurring, and then, at night, he will verbalize deep, meaningful prayers that are evidence that he was completely engaged and that his heart was in tune with all that we saw and did.

Another quiet child, Wren, used to be happy to follow her big sisters and be a spectator. Now, she has kids that she needs to check on, babies that she needs to diaper and original artwork that she needs to make to show her friends how much she loves them.

Jasmine, our wild child, who struggles to keep her thoughts focused and her body under control, is best friends with each of our guards. She will sit with them at the gate for hours just being together and chatting.

Carter is a boy wise beyond his years with a heart that is too big to contain all of his emotions. He is seeing things that break his heart, and he is strong and focused in the moment. When he gets home and snuggles into my arms, the tears just flow. He has no words and cannot explain them, but his heart simply needs this release.

• We would have access to pizza and Panera and chocolate. (Would it be wrong to pray for Hershey’s from heaven?)

•  We would have had another summer of the kids fighting and me counting down the days until I could send them all back to school. Instead, we are cherishing our time together. We home school as a family, and it is a gift. We get to spend every hour of every day together, and without other things battling for our time and attention, the time together is a better quality than we have ever experienced before. We are learning to love each other better.

Can journal time possibly get any better than this? A perk of homeschool!

• We would have missed out on these relationships. These words of wisdom. The life experiences of others that, when shared with us, become a part of our story, of our knowledge, our lives. There is such richness in the relationships of other missionaries, all of whom have stepped away from what is easy, in order to grow and learn as God has called them to.

·         We would have missed the moments where we come to the end of all we know and have nothing left to hold on to except the truth and the promises of our Creator. Those scary moments when our children ask us what comes next and we have no idea, but we know Who goes before us, and that is enough.

And this list is only a beginning. 

This journey is only beginning. 

Random Thoughts by Dave....But Then Again, Aren't They All Random?!?! :)

As I do not have Cara's writing abilities, I will just share some random thoughts I've been thinking about.

Relationships, relationships, relationships....that has been the theme of all that we have heard since we arrived here. At our weekly "staff meetings" Jason and Kari have been inviting guest speakers, other missionaries, to share what they have learned since they have been here. The speakers have really given us SO much insight!  It has been so helpful to hear the highs and lows of these amazing people who have truly listened to God's call here in Africa.  They have been here between 3 and 10 years and still feel that they are learning every day...they still haven't figured it out yet!
The one thing that remains constant in all of the messages shared though has been that relationships have got to be the #1 reason for being here!  A desire to be in relationship needs to come before any program or idea that we "westerners" may have.
We have developed many great relationships since we arrived 2+ months ago.  A lot of the friendships are with Ugandans....obviously, no surprise.  It has been life-giving to our family as we pour into the people here....also, it will come as no surprise to you that we get poured into by the people here tenfold!
We knew coming here that God was up to something in the life of our family, and we are soaking up what we can each day knowing that He is growing us and preparing us. For this year,  I know we are here to support the Segners and fill in for them working with Healing Faith while they are gone on furlough.  But beyond that, I am excited to see what God will do in our lives. That's the way God can work....you think you are here for one reason and BAM....you find out He had even bigger plans.....plans we may not find out even during the year we are here!  I think we are getting a little bit better at the being patient while God nudges and pushes us where He is calling us.....sadly, I can quote Aerosmith in saying, "Life's a trip, not a destination!"  We are enjoying the trip!
One of the funny things I think about every so often as I reflect on the journey God has been guiding for our family.....we have been becoming more and more "crazy" for God and His plan!  I am thinking right now, "O.K., God, Africa it is....you have called us...we listened...here we are!"  What is next?  When I list everything God has done for us the past few years, it seems like we are at the pinnacle....the road has been lifting us up further and further.....I mean, Africa seems to be one of those pinnacle moments.....but I think we have more to do?!?! There is no pinnacle here on earth when you are following Jesus, the more you are faithful in, the more He calls you to.
.....here are those random thoughts that I have to share....

• It took this guy going to Africa to actually start exercising on a regular basis....I've been running 4 miles (oops, I'm Ugandan for a year...6.5 kilometers) 5 days a week now.  Feeling really good....I run with my good friend, David (our day askari) on Saturdays.....although I think he is secretly training me for the Ugandan Olympic Marathon team...he is so hard on me!!  In a good way...tough coach!!  :)  I have lost over 20 pounds since being here.
• Life here is becoming so normal, which is great, but I am forgetting to appreciate the differences here....I am looking forward to one of our friends visiting this fall if he is able so I can see Uganda through new eyes again!  If God does not call us to move here, my greatest fear would be forgetting the day-to-day life that is so incredibly awesome!!
• Mara is engaged now, so we will for sure be coming back home next May. There are days that I can't imagine going back to America....and there are days that I feel we are supposed to go back, but that this won't be our last time in Uganda....we'll see what God does in the next 9+ months.  I do know there will be many more changes in our lives when we go back.
• It is so funny to be looked at as such a delicate person. Some Ugandans believe that our skin is more gentle and can be harmed more easily than theirs.   I purchased 20 kilos of posho for our three guard dogs.  I told the men I could carry the bag over my shoulder.  They all laughed at me....I had three people try to take it from me as I was carrying it to the van.  I was also laughed at as I carried two large water jugs to the van.  I do some of the slashing (hand mowing w/ a long metal tool) because I want a workout for my arms....no weights here to lift!  David asked me to not be too good or else he might lose his job!
• Watching our kids play together has been awesome!  Getting rid of cable, putting away the DS's, and limiting them on computers was one of the best decisions we ever made.  They were SO ready for Africa in so many ways. We do watch a movie together as a family on Friday and Saturday nights.  They have become the most creative kids I know....I mean, they were very creative before....but WHOA!
• The weather here is much different than I thought.  I thought it would be so hot!!  Being 2 blocks away from Lake Victoria  makes the nights much cooler.  I bet we rarely hit 80 degrees here so far.  And the second rainy season has not hit yet!  I will miss fall back in Illinois..I will miss the leaves changing and falling.  I know I will not miss winter at all.  But I will miss that first snowfall.  The months of freezing cold temperatures...not so much!!
• No recycling here bothers much more than I thought it would.  Smelling burning plastic is NOT the sweet aroma of Uganda I was envisioning!  They are recycling in South Africa, I have heard.  I hope that catches on in all of Africa.
• I am learning to say, "No" more often.  That is probably one of the hardest things I need to learn here.  I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am very aware of this!!  Not the best quality to have while living in Uganda. I understand that giving handouts can actually hurt people in the long run, but when the parking ticket guy asks you for a Bible...it's not that easy to say, "No".  Remember, Dave...relationships...not handouts!!!!  Not easy!!
• We love "House Church"!  Many missionary families coming together for worship, children's message, diving deep into our bible lesson, dinner, and fellowship.  We actually hosted last week.  There are so many kids...35 last Sunday!!  Our house and yard were so full.  The families are wonderful....such a blessing to our family!
• We had our "official" first date night last Friday night since we left the house.  I consider every night after the kids go to bed a "date night" since Cara and I can talk for hours.  But we went o get massages and go out for pizza.  The massages were awesome....60 minutes for 25,000 shillings apiece ($10 for each).
• I'm afraid I have forgotten what a real shower feels like.  Our shower would probably be described as a trickle+.
• I must be too old to learn a new language.  My kids and Cara are learning a lot of Luganda.  Halie will walk up to anyone and greet them or talk to them!  It is taking me MUCH longer to learn.