Several of my conversations with God included my telling Him that I had no desire to go to Africa, no desire to adopt from Africa, and no desire to give up this life that I had worked so hard for. Although those conversations began with me telling God what was up, they always ended with me saying, "I will follow where You lead me." I have had my fair share of questioning, thinking that I know best, and living this life on my own. Much of it has been good, but the best things that have ever, EVER happened to me, were the things that God orchestrated without any of my help...
I continued following those little bread crumbs, and last summer that led us to Visiting Orphans, an organization that works with ministries all over the world and brings volunteers for short term missions. In obedience, Dave and I signed up for a 2 week trip through Uganda and Kenya. We only took Chloe along because she was the only one who met the age requirement of 10 years old.
I got on an airplane still shaking my head and talking to God about how crazy this little adventure was.
As always, following in obedience led to joy that I would have never known on my own, a changed heart, and a passion to serve the children and families of Uganda. That trip was a life-changer. What I saw God doing in Chloe was enough to make me want to give up everything, but God was at work in Dave and I as well. You can read more about that in my posts from last summer.
*******************************************************************
Since then, we have been praying like crazy and fundraising (with your help) for a land project for Return Ministries. We have been thinking about taking all 6 of our kids to Uganda. We have thought about anther 2 week trip, and we have thought about spending the summer. Just recently, we decided that rather than going long-term, we would just spend our summers for the next few years in Uganda. We were set. We had a plan. We thought it was a good plan.
God was silent.
We prayed more.
God was silent.
We doubted.
We prayed more.
Still, nothing from the Big Guy.
We were frustrated.
As the time drew near to purchase plane tickets (and an amazing rate became available), I cried out to God...literally, in the van, by myself, I yelled to God, "Show me!!" I didn't want to make this choice, this major commitment if it wasn't in obedience. I needed to know that this was part of His plan. I reminded Him how this was NOT my idea in the first place, and if he walked me to this place, then I needed Him to walk me through. Show me. Show me.
God likes a little cry from the heart sometimes. He likes it when we come to Him with emotion rather than rote prayers and empty words.
The next morning, I received a call from the leader of our Visiting Orphan's trip. In an excitement that I could never put into words, she told me of an opportunity to serve in a ministry in Jinja, Uganda while the directors went on furlough in Texas. Would we at all be interested in staying in Uganda for 6 months to a year? I would like to think that I contained myself and my excitement on my immediate drive over to Dave's school to tell him about the call.
I was prepared for an immediate "No" from Dave, but he just smiled. That was a good sign. I have pulled him into lots of craziness in our 11 years together, and I have learned that I need him to balance me. He was actually excited. In the 5 minutes that we had to talk in the midst of his day teaching, he already was considering the option that he has to take a year leave of absence without losing his job. We will lose his income for that year, but at least he would have a job to return to.
After a few days of talking, praying and considering the impact, we felt sure of the choice to ask more questions.
That leaves us here,
- ready for a Skype interview on Tuesday with a representative of the ministry's board of directors.
- looking for someone to rent our house for a year so that we aren't as burdened by the expense of our mortgage while we are gone. (We could pay it, but not having to would be one less concern.)
- praying about fundraising for our daily expenses while we are in Uganda.
- brainstorming how we will home school all 6 of our children and have them on track to return to their school the following year.
- doing some major "spring cleaning" during this polar vortex in order to get our house "show ready" for those renters that we know God will send our way.
Fun Fact:
Katie Davis, the author of Kisses from Katie, will be our neighbor in Jinja. The directors that we will be filling in for are good friends of her and her girls.
Not-so-fun Fact:
Many of you are aware that the IRS owes us over $40,000 for our 2011 Adoption Tax Credit that we never received. We originally assumed that we would use that money to fund this part of our journey. The IRS has made no progress on that front, and it is very unlikely that we would receive that funding prior to leaving, if at all.
Thank you for the support and continued prayers as we walk this path that God has set before us!
A very wise person, who I respect greatly said something the other day that keeps rolling around in my mind. "That's the trouble with faith. It lets you walk into things blindly," he said laughing. I believe that he meant very little by the comment, but my heart has held on to it, and it is empowering me in amazing ways.
Faith does, for sure, allow us to walk into this adventure with many unknowns. Faith allowed me to marry a man with a 9 year old daughter when I was just 21. Faith allowed us to have a child a year later when I didn't have a full-time job. Faith grew my little home daycare to an amazing business which grew our lives exponentially. Faith allowed us to become foster parents and then adopt 3 children when we struggle with parenting just as much as everyone else does. Faith is what gets me out of bed each morning and allows me to sleep peacefully every night.
I don't know if faith is trouble, but who only wants to live a fraction of their life? It is NOT Africa for everyone, it is NOT adoption for everyone, but whatever YOUR whole life is, I believe that faith gets you there. When I die, I want to know that I have lived the depth, height and width of every moment that I have been given. I want to live amazing days. Faith gets a bad rap for the "walking blindly" stuff. I think the trouble with faith is that more people don't have enough of it.
