Any Thoughts?

The kids had their "final" visit with their biological parents last Monday. They really are such sweet people. Both Mom and Dad (and the supervisor from DCFS) got to take the kids to the zoo in town, play at a park and have a snack at McDonald's. Mom and Dad took lots of pictures and just had fun playing with the kiddos. The kids were excited to see them, but nervous at the same time. I don't think they completely understand who these people are. They have had visits with them on and off for the past year, but still, it's confusing to them.
I had the opportunity to take a family picture of all 5 of them together. Mom was grateful and said that they never had a picture taken with all of them together. I can't wait to send them to her. She also gave me a photo album of all the pictures that she has of the kids as babies. What an amazing gift that is. So many adopted kids don't have photos of their lives before adoption, and really struggle with that later in life. I am beyond excited to have photos of Jasmine when she was born, Brice as an infant and when he had surgery on his skull at 11 months old, and Halie as an adorable, chubby faced baby.
This week we will meet with the adoption caseworker to see what the next step in the process is. I am excited to meet her and to move forward. Even if it's just filling our papers, at least it's something for me to do while we wait the 6 months until it's final.
I also am trying to schedule a time to meet with a few people who are experienced in all things adoption to get advice on a few issues. I have read several adoption books, but just as it is with parenting, each child and each situation is different from the next, so I feel like a brand new parent all over again. Each decision feels so critical, and I feel like I have too much control and not enough information to make the right choices.
A few of the things we are muddling through are...

• How much contact do we want the kids to have with their biological parents and family now and throughout life? This is completely up to Dave and I to decide. The parents don't have rights to the children at all, but still, what is the Christian response? What is best for the children? and Why do I feel called to minister to the parents as well? Shouldn't we love them unconditionally and be examples of Christ's love as long as it is not detrimental to the kids at all?
• Should we begin counseling for the kids right away? Although we don't see any direct need for counseling right now, and the kids seem too young to receive any benefit from it, we also don't want to wait until we see problems. What is the right way to be proactive? Is introducing another stranger to the kids right now and expecting them to open up to him or her a good idea? Should we wait 6 month or so and let family life and school life become routine before starting anything new with them?
• There are so many new people in the kids' lives that I know it is confusing. A new house, new church, new schools, etc. In each new environment there are new groups of people to meet. We also have several different people who watch our kids on occasion. I just don't know how to live life without the kids meeting so many people! Although Halie has not been able to put anyting into words, she has acted out for all of our baby-sitters and in the nursery and Sunday school class at church. We have decided that we will only have Lindsay, my daycare assistant, watch the kids until we become more settled, since she is the most familiar with them, but what about church? Do I pull Halie from Sunday school? Do we not introduce the kids to our close friends and family? Or, do we just get through this "meeting new people phase" knowing that the kids will learn to differentiate our friends from our acquaintances?

These are not small issues. Although I am confident that God will lead me, and I am seeking His will in this entire adoption journey, I still find myself feeling inadequate. Just like in parenting from infancy, I wish there was a guide book that applied to each child specifically. You know what? I just finished reading Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover, and I loved it. Dave Ramsey is a financial planner/expert who is just so confident in his method of paying off debt, living completely debt free and accumulating millions of dollars in wealth. He gives simple "baby steps" to follow and advises to just stick with the steps, in order. Don't veer from the path that he has laid out because it is the path to success. He all but guarantees the life of a milliionaire if you just follow these simple steps. That is what I want, a book that has easy to follow, easy to implement "Baby Steps to Successful Parenting." I want someone to say, here it is, the steps to take and when to take them.
Parenting is definately a journey like no other.