In the past year, we have had some of the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. We had no idea that coming home would be more emotional and unsettling than moving to Uganda, but we are continuing to survive and grow through this season of life.
April and May were a blur as we quickly came back, stayed at friends' homes for several weeks, and let the kids be a part of the last month of school here. Going back to school was a wonderful chance for them to reconnect with friends and have a sense of routine during an huge transition phase of our lives, but it was also tricky. While we were in Uganda, Chloe missed 6th grade, her first year of junior high. It was a big year for all of her friends, and although I keep reassuring her that she grew in ways that are so different from her friends, she feels left behind. This makes our preparation for 7th grade that much harder. She keeps saying that since she felt so unprepared last time, she wants to be over-prepared going into this year. I don't know how to help her understand that nothing ever goes as planned, and we always need to be ready for the unexpected. I don't know how to help her because this is also a lesson that God is continually trying to teach me. He is in control and I am not.
The other kids are doing great and cannot wait to get back to seeing all of their friends every day. Although we are still more emotional than usual, we are seeing less and less tears every day. Just last week, Brice came running in from playing outside and sobbing, said, "Mom, can you get me a picture of Oreo? I miss him and want to see a picture." I hugged him and said, "Of course we can!" Then, after he calmed down, I had to ask, "Who the heck is Oreo?" Evidently, one of our many chickens in Uganda was special to Brice and received a name. I had no idea. We did find a picture though and all is well in Brice's world. These are the kinds of things that there is simply no preparation for.
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| After searching through thousands of pictures, I am now fully aware that THIS is Oreo. Both as a baby and all grown up. Brice is wearing the same shirt in both pictures, but look how much longer his hair is in the second! Too funny! |
June and July were spent moving all of our possession back into our house, replacing our 10 year old, daycare and child stained carpet, and painting. It was a gift to have a fresh, new look to start this next season of life, but moving back in was harder than we expected. There were simply more decisions that needed to be made than I was capable of making. Things that should have been simple, felt so hard. It's like we had forgotten how to do life here in this house, this house that used to represent all things comfortable and familiar to us. Dave and I had our fair share of heated discussions over important things like, "In which cabinet or drawer do we keep the ziploc bags?" and "Do the pots go under the oven on in a cabinet?" Everything was harder than it should have been and our emotions, fears, and insecurities were all so close to the surface.
The best thing that we did for those month was see a marriage counselor. Although he didn't necessarily have any brilliant advice or solutions, the counselor did provide accountability that we desperately needed. If I was nasty and impatient and lashed out at Dave on Monday, I knew I would have to admit that and ask forgiveness on Wednesday. Nothing was going to be brushed under the rug. It caused us to be more intentional in our communication and to not feel the need to fight until we had a solution. We knew we could talk things out in counseling with a mediator. It gave us time to set issues aside and not feel rushed into finding a solution.
People who have been married a long time always say that they have their ups and downs, and our marriage hasn't been perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but we have never had a season in our marriage that was as low as it was this summer. It was terrifying. We had gone from a couple who loved each other and were best of friends to people who didn't feel like we liked each other at all. We were both unhappy, and it was a very dark time.
I am thankful for the strength of our commitment and the bold faith that allows us to know God brought us together for His purpose, and that He is the one who carries us through the dark times. Knowing this enabled us to see it as a temporary problem and trust that peace would be restored eventually, no matter how far-fetched that seemed at the time. God wasn't absent during this, just like he wasn't absent when we had our struggles in Uganda. He was allowing us to cling to Him and trust in His plan above our own.
I am over-joyed to say that we are out of that place. Dave and I are back to a good place in our marriage. We love each other so much, and we even like each other every day, which sometimes is harder. We were given each other as a gift. We were brought together for a purpose. We will never deny that God knew what He was doing, nor will we stop trusting that He has more for us to accomplish and experience together in this life.
So, now, with a new school year upon us, we are all looking forward to the routine and purposefulness of doing mission work here, in our everyday American lives. Through the good and the bad, we have been changed, and we pray that our lives reflect that. We pray that we will give God the control over all of our days and that we use them to bring glory to Him in all that we say and do.
Our current mission fields include:
- Our home and family as we learn to be as holy at home and with each other as we try to be out in the world
- Our friends and family, in the U.S. and in Uganda, may we be open and available to love and serve them as God leads
- Cara's new pre-school in our home 3 mornings per week
- Parkside Junior High and all who Chloe will impact during her 7th grade year as well as Dave's 6th grade classroom and the 90+ students on his team
- Prairieland and Carter's 5th grade class, Halie and Brice's 4th grade classes, Wren's 3rd grade class, and Jasmine's 2nd grade class.
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