Bittersweet

Last Wednesday, I traveled over to Champaign for our termination hearing. This is the time in court when parents are told that they are out of chances and that their parental rights will be no more. At that time, the parents can surrender their rights (sign a paper allowing their children to be adopted) or they can request that it goes to trial.
I was fairly confident that the biological dad was planning on surrendering his rights, but my last conversation with biological mom (a week ago at the kids' visit), had me thinking that she was wanting to take it to trial. She told me actually that she wanted to go to trial. Not in a mean way at all, just very matter-of-fact, "I'm not going to surrender, I'm going to have a trial." This conversation occured the very first time that I met mom, and what I had been anticipating as a wondefully powerful moment of meeting this woman who gave birth to these amazing children actually turned into a gut-wrenching experience. How do you respond to a woman who is very kind and gentle, but simply does not understand that she has run out of chances to parent her children.
Well, I responded in the only way I knew how. I smiled and nodded and left as quickly as I could. The kids had a nice visit with her, and I just waited for them to be dropped back off at home. Now, I  knew that she didn't have a chance at getting them back. I knew that she was losing her rights one way or the other, but just thinking about dragging this out through a trial was a devastating thought.

Fast forward to last Wednesday. As I sat outside the courtroom waiting for the hearing to begin, I saw a man that I recognized from pictures as "dad" approaching. I immediately jumped up and introduced myself. Mom was not far behind him. We all shook hands and chatted and mom asked how the kids were doing. I was so happy for the kids when she asked. I was so glad that when they ask about their mom I can say, with confidence and a specific example, that mom loved them and cared so much about their lives. I made sure to tell her some fun details about each of them, and she and dad were so glad to hear all that I had to share.
I asked them each about work and school, and they were so excited to share with me all that they are working on and their goals for the future. They are the sweetest people, really. It's weird to say that, but they are just so innocent and immature. They love their kids so much, they just don't know how to be parents.
I feel for them. I wonder how their lives may have had different outcomes if someone had loved them unconditionally and had given them the opportunities to learn and grow that they deserved.
Then, their lawyers arrived and casually said, "So, we have the surrender documents. Do either of you have any questions?" My heart broke for them, but they were just so casual about it. Then mom told me that it was a really hard day for her. "I can not even imagine," is all I could say. Then, we headed into court.

It was true. Both mom and dad made a difficult, but awesome decision to allow the kids to be adopted.


Talk about a bittersweet moment. As I sat in the courtroom and listened to the questions..."Do you understand that by signing these papers you will no longer have any rights regarding these children? Even if you change your mind 5 minutes from now, this can never be undone. Do you understand?"... my heart broke for them while at the same time it pounded in excitement for our family and this new beginning.

So, the kids are officially adoptable. The process is underway, and the adoption court date is set for March 25th.
God is so good to us!