Friday, December 17, 2010

Honesty

I had this great idea to interview the kids and see what adoption means to them and what they think about our adoption process so far. I dreamt that we would have a sweet memento of this time in our lives and how the kids felt in their hearts.
Well, they each told me how they felt, and I am sure you can guess where this is going.
After interviewing each of the kids, I am not even sure we can look at these videos again until everyone is old enough and secure enough to laugh about it.
In my mind it I thought I'd hear them say things like "fun", "lots of love", "caring for kids who need us", etc. What I heard were "annoying", "crazy", "weird" and "bad". Oh, well. At least they are comfortable enough to be honest.
When I asked Halie what adoption means, she said, "Baby Jesus". Miss Kelley would be proud...she already knows the correct answer to every question in church! ;)
When I was talking to her about being adopted and becoming a McMorris, she said laughing and with a huge grin, "No, I don't want to be a McMorris! I don't want to live with you. I want Grandma Nancy to adopt me." Remember that post I wrote about needing thick skin to do this job of parenting...

Day to day the kids are happy and enjoy each other most of the time. Dave and I are amazed really at the progress that has been made in the 4 months that they have been with us. (And Jasmine came a month later than the other two, so for her it's only been 3 months.)

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Baby steps in the right direction

Some fun little tidbits of the McLife lately...

Wren learned to write "MOM", so it's on every paper she draws on. I love that after she learned to write her name, mine was next! She is getting so big.

Dave passed his kidney stone after an excruciating three days last week. I was telling him that it was probably caused by all the pop he drinks (I will blame pop on EVERY ailment), but it turns out that it was caused by too much dairy consumption. Who knew?!?!

After weeks of telling Carter that I wouldn't let him turn 6 because I couldn't stand the thought of him being that old, he in fact, turned 6. It's funny how different ages with the different kids hit me harder than others. With Chloe, 5 seemed like such a milestone, but with Carter 6 really feels old. Tomorrow is the big Chuck E. Cheese party. They have a new thing there called the Ticket Blaster, and that is the sole reason Chuck E. Cheese was chosen as the party location. For 30 seconds Carter will be put in a giant cylinder that blows around tickets and he has to grab as many as he can. I better be worth it!

Mara came by to visit today, which was a very nice surprise. She is home for the weekend and gearing up for her first week of college finals. She showed me the present that she made for Chloe for Christmas, and it is the sweetest testiment to the love between these sisters. Mara made a beautiful scrapbook, and I just know that Chloe will cry happy tears when she opens it!

Speaking of emotional Chloe...we have "chats" every once in a while before bed, and this week was a doosy. After the rest of the kids are tucked into bed, Chloe and I sit together in a comfy chair and talk about life, friends, school, etc. I took the opportunity to check in with her about family life, but I was not prepared for the response I got. I asked what she thought about adoption and having a new brother and sisters. She said, "Adoption is good, but I don't want to say any more about it because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings." Uh-Oh. I knew there was lots more behind that. I assured her that she could say anything and that I wanted to know how she felt in her heart. She really didn't want to say anything and resisted for a little while, then, when she opened up, the tears fell like crazy. She said that it's hard being a big sister to so many kids and that it's always so crazy. She wishes the younger kids would listen more and not be so wild.

I am so glad that she can express these feelings, and that Dave and I can be aware of the pressure and stress that she feels. Change is hard for everyone, no matter how old they are. I should get a referral for counseling next week when our caseworker visits. I think it will be such a good opportunity for everyone.

Halie has been having a rough couple weeks as well. She came off the bus from school smiling today, and I could have cried it was such a beautiful sight. It made me realize how often she has NOT been smiling lately. When she's had emotional periods in the past, there has been an event that seemed to correlate, but this time, I have no idea what is causing her sadness. She has thrown several temper tantrums, and that has not happened in a long time. When I talked with her today, I asked her what I could do to help. She tells me that she is sad, but can't really express why. So today she said, "Mom, I think I need you to pray." I asked her what she wanted me to pray for and she said, "that God can make my heart happy." So pray we did. She is such a sweet, sweet girl.

For two weeks Brice has been looking forward to the day when the kindergarten classes would make gingerbread houses. Well, today was the day, and he was THRILLED! Last Friday was ornament making day, and he couldn't get home from school fast enought to hang up HIS ornaments on the tree. I don't know what his previous Christmas experiences have been like, but he has a million questions about how this whole "santa thing" works. I read him a book about the basics...Santa makes toys with his elves at the North Pole, he puts them all on his sleigh, the reindeer fly, Santa magically goes down each chimney and delivers presents, etc. He listened like he would to any story, but then I said, "Santa will fly over our house, and Brice, Santa will leave lots of presents for you!" He was shocked. He was so excited that he could barely sit still. We sort of take for granted that our kids grow up learning what Christmas means to our family. Before they understand it, they experience how our family celebrates and sort of grow into it. This year, we have three kids who are learning our traditions as we go. It's a whole new experience. That joy though, to be able to tell Brice that Santa knows him and has gifts for him...that was a special moment.

Jasmine snuggled with me on the couch tonight. For those of you who have met her, you know, this was a BIG deal. This girl doesn't sit still...ever. Tonight she snuggled and shared my mozzerella bites while I watched some TV, and it was fun. I know, she was probably there just because I was sharing my food, but it's a baby step in the right direction, and I will take it!