Refresh

Dave and I were blessed to be able to get away for part of last weekend, and it was amazingly refreshing! It turns out that I still love my husband very, very much. That fact can get lost on me sometimes, when we are in the hustle and bustle of life.
We used to make a point to go on dates, but then, it only took a few HORRIBLE experiences for us to realize that we needed to be the ones in charge of our kids for awhile. Let me just say that no dinner or movie is worth coming home to nail polish on every surface of your home upstairs and downstairs. No quiet time alone is worth coming home to 6 kids hysterically crying about how they were wronged and how frustrated they are that a sibling wouldn't be obedient to a babysitter. It was rotten for us all, so we took a break from taking a break. Dave and I just alternated rather than going places together, and in retrospect, it was the right thing to do...for a season.
The past several months have been really, really good though. Medications have been changed for the better, emotions have calmed down, acting out has diminished, maturity has increased exponentially (for all of us!), and it was time to try again.
We are so incredibly blessed with so many friends who love our kids like their own. We chose 3 families for this overnight, but we were honestly overwhelmed by all of the options that we had. It turns out people truly are willing to walk this journey with us and love on our kids if just ask! So, Chloe and Wren went to Chloe's best friend's house, Halie and Jasmine went to our wonderful friend, Miss Brooke, and the boys went to Carter's Godmother's house.
I am typically not a nervous mom at all, but on Thursday evening as we prepared for the following day, I could not relax at all. I was anxious. Although I was confident in the love and ability of the people caring for our kids, I was also being bombarded with thoughts of the kids at their worst. I was terrified that the progress that I thought we had made as a family would not sustain our leaving for a night. I prayed. I prayed hard. I constantly had to remind myself that the voice of truth was not bringing these thoughts to my mind. I kept reminding myself that God loves my kids so much more than I could ever even imagine, and that He was in charge whether I was in the same town as them or a million miles away.
And guess what? It was a wonderful weekend for everyone. Not a single bad report. (insert happy dance)
Our kids were spoiled rotten. I am fairly certain that their diets contained nothing more than pizza, ice cream, waffles and toaster strudels. Every single child had a wonderful time, and some of them even brushed their teeth once or twice while we were away.
Dave and I had nearly 8 hours in driving time to talk about long term items that always seem to be low on the priority list when we crash on the couch to talk at night. We also attended a wonderful conference where we were encouraged in our faith and reminded of the power and vision that Gd has. The vision that He has is sooo not what we tend to see here on earth, and we need to be reminded of that fact often.
We met Jen Hatmaker, the author of the book, 7, which has led us over the past few months to identify and eliminate the excess in our lives. It was wonderful.

7: Media Month: Day 20

If you have ever considered turning off the boob-tube for an extended period of time, I would highly recommend doing it! I always thought that "those people" were insane. You know, the ones who live with no TV or limit their poor children to an hour per day or less...the horror of it all!
Having the TV off (for the most part) for the past 20 days has been amazing for our family. Dave and I are now trying to figure out how we will keep the positives that we have gained after media month ends. Some of the perks...

• The one child who no one ever wants to play with, always has someone to play with her now because they aren't plugged into a device. 
• All 6 kids are almost always engaged in some imaginative game with complex story lines, and they are all playing TOGETHER....HAPPILY!
• Friday, Chloe spent her money to buy face paint, used some media time to research face painting methods, and then painted everyone's faces. 
• Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, the kids set up imaginary face painting stations and actually had others waiting in line for imaginary face paint. 
• The kids are fighting over washing the dishes each night. (I will say, I have no idea how we got this result out of no computers of TV, but I'll take it!)
• It has proven to me that the world will not, in fact, come to an end if I am not constantly checking facebook. Now, if I stayed off for an extended period of time... ;-)

7: Month 4: Media

Month one was food, and it was HARD!
Month two was clothing, and that was easy, just boring.
Month three was stuff. Giving away stuff came easily to us, and with our homeless ministry, we gave away more than 7 items per day.

Month four, our goal is to "unplug". Technically, we can engage in one hour per day of internet usage or tv watching. But, in an effort to get rid of Halloween candy and see if we can eliminate electronic media altogether, we have offered the kids the choice of six pieces of candy rather than an hour of media. Our TV hasn't gone on until tonight.

Day One:
Mom and Dad are on the floor completely engaged in a game of UNO with all six kids. Awesome. Nothing else matters in this moment other than this game and this time. The question is raised by one of the kids, "Can we just sell our TV and get money for it?" I think they are enjoying this full attention of both parents and simple fun. Why on earth do we not make this choice more often? Why does it require us to challenge ourselves in order to choose better? God only knows. I pray that this month has lasting effects.

Day Four:
I have a head splitting sinus infection and Chloe really wants to watch The Amazing Race. So we had one hour of TV watching. The fast movement of the camera and the bright light of the TV made my eyes hurt so badly. It was the first time the TV had been on in four days though. My daycare kids aren't even watching it. Those moments of TV watching peace that I thought I relied so heavily on, aren't even missed. Who'd have thought that kids could so easily find other ways to entertain themselves. Duh!

Day Five:
I sat at the computer and was paying the bills. One of my daycare boys came up and said, "Uh-oh! Remember? We aren't using the computers this month." I tried to explain that I had to pay the bills, so this was different. I am pretty sure he walked away thinking that I was cheating.
Day Six:
The favorite game is Connect Four, by far. It would be followed closely by Candy Land and Trouble. The Game of Life has been out quite a bit, but only for Halie to throw all of the money up in the air and the other kids to race to catch the most. Hey, I guess it's creative at least.
The kids are interacting so much more with each other. In the beginning, this meant that they were arguing more because there was no screen to escape to in a effort to block out the annoying one, but even the arguing has stopped. They actually seem to like each other. :)
I have been reading a lot more, but with the headache from the sinus infection and the throbbing that ensues every time I move my eyeballs, even that has been difficult. This has led to boredom. Seriously, in the "oh-so-busy" life that I claim to have, I am bored.

7...The Journey

I am quite certain that I could write a timeline of my life based on the book that I was reading during each phase. I am terribly, wonderfully affected by what I read. Knowing this, and fully aware of my extreme personality, my great friend, Becca Bruner, handed me the book "7" by Jen Hatmaker. 7 is "an experimental mutiny against excess". The seven areas that Jen chose to challenge herself on were food, clothing, possessions, media, waste, spending and stress.

Dave read the book first and immediately wanted to jump on the bandwagon. I was hesitant to even pick up the book knowing the conviction I was sure to feel after reading it. But, before I would let Dave lead us on a crazy journey, (I have control issues as well.) I needed to read it. If anyone was going to take this family to Crazy Town, it was going to be me dagnabbit!

So, I read it. I loved it. I wanted to meet Jen Hatmaker, go to her church, live next to her, be her best friend...

I was NOT going to post anything about it on facebook though. This was going to be my quiet little journey that I could quit at any time because Dave and I (and a few close friends who already know my quirks) would be the only ones who knew about it. AND, I was NOT going to do the food month!!

I have issues with food. I could live on white bread, crackers, peanut butter and Oreos. I hate spices and flavors of almost all kinds. I don't eat vegetables willingly, and I just ate the first strawberry of my life a few months ago. Some of you may have even been privy to my little experiments with "Green Monsters", Vegetarianism, and the ban on high fructose corn syrup. Some have lasted longer than others, and I am proud to say that a gross pink picture on facebook did permanently stop my family from eating at McDonald's about 6 months ago.

Then, Dave decided he was going to do the food month full force. He picked his seven items and even had a great talk with the kids about it. It was such a great talk that without any encouraging, 4 of the kids wanted to try "getting rid of stuff so that we can know God better". As my sister-in-law, Lisa McMorris, pointed out on facebook, I am a little bit competitive...especially with Dave. THEN, Dave posted on facebook about the journey. I was so inspired and convinced that we could do this as a family that I posted about it on facebook...on day #1. BIG MISTAKE! :)

Food month basically went like this:

Day #1: Yum, I love chicken and rice! Apples are so juicy, I could do this forever! (And when I don't want an apple, I will just have a banana. Easy Peasy! Yum eggs! Good thing strawberries and I are learning to be friends. Spinach and I are destined to get along whether we want to or not...and I AM going to use Ranch dressing even though it's not following the letter of the 7 law. This is going to be awesome!

Day #2 breakfast: Yay! Day 2!

Day#2 lunch: Seriously, the daycare kids are eating cinnamon waffles, and I could easily just pop one in my mouth. I LOVE cinnamon waffles. Every cabinet I open has wonderful, delicious, sweet carbs in it, and I want them all. So proud though, I talked myself down and ate my "7 lunch".

Day #2 dinner: Maybe I'll just skip dinner. I am tired of this food.

Day #3 morning: Woke up. Complained to Dave about how hard this is (for about 2 hours). He loves when I do this! Decided just to skip breakfast.

Day #3 lunch: Made the daycare kids quesadillas...I don't even really LOVE quesadillas, but they looked so buttery and yummy. Dave left the house to pick up my brother Cameron. I stood there contemplating eating a quesadilla and NOT TELLING HIM! Seriously, on this journey to open up my life to more of God and recognize where we let "stuff" get in the way of relationship with him, I was going to LIE to survive month one!! That was when I began to know this was not going to end well. I grabbed a quesadilla, announced to Chloe and Carter that "I am OUT!", and took a wonderful, delicious bite of non-7 food.

Day #3 dinner: Ate too much and felt sick. :(

Instantly I regretted having told anyone that I was trying this! Some of my dear, dear friends and family also know that I don't like to fail. Not that anyone really likes to fail, but I spend a great deal of my life purposefully avoiding situations where there is any possibility for me to fail. I quit volleyball in high school because I wasn't the best. I quit track for the same reason. I quit band because I wasn't naturally talented at playing the clarinet...after three weeks...never mind that I didn't practice. After that string of quitting, I just decided on some level that I would never again begin anything that I couldn't finish successfully. (Dave bought a Jeep in May...it's stick shift...I will NEVER let him teach me...I will NEVER drive the Jeep.)

Oh...maybe this is my lesson...maybe for me it wasn't about food at all. Maybe for me it was a good lesson in trying. That God! He always seems to remind us of the things that He needs us to learn rather than just letting us decided which lessons we are willing to learn.

I was also overwhelmed with love and support on facebook. I was reminded of the power of leading this crazy life, in our crazy ways, following Jesus (who many thought was a little crazy), in front of others. Whatever seeds may have been planted, I will let God tend to them.

Although I am remaining on a steady diet of "whatevertheheckiwant" for the rest of this month, I continue to reflect on my 3 days and pray that God will continue to lead me on this journey...where ever it takes me, and us as a family.

Dave is still going strong with brown rice, chicken, apples, spinach, eggs, almonds, and blueberries even though he has had a disaster with black beans, decided kale was disgusting and almonds aren't really "doing it for him". His menu may need to be tweaked a little, but I am so proud of his perseverance. This is the same guy that gave up his first true love, Pepsi, for an entire year. He has amazing strength!

Next month: Clothing

For an entire month we will wear only 7 items of clothing.

Can I get this in writing?

On our way home from Chloe's newest hobby, hip-hop dance class, she said all thoughtful-like, "I wonder what Jasmine will be like when she is older." I asked her what she meant and she said, "Well, she's been doing amazing lately, but I just wonder what it will be like when she learns to make good choices all the time."
In my constant crusade against perfectionism in my too-hard-on-herself-always child, I said, "No one ever makes good choices ALL the time."
Her response, "I will Mommy, even when I'm a teenager."  :-) Obviously my crusade is not very effective so far.
That did lead to some sarcastic comments from me about teenagers and how they are just made to make choices different from what their parents would want and to learn from their own experiences.
My little girl who is wise beyond her 8 years then says, "Yeah. I hear that some teenagers are bad because of their childhood. Some have hard lives."
Quiet...Thinking...
"What kinds of bad things do teenagers do?"
So, we talked about the horribly bad things that teenagers do like sneaking out, lying, kissing boyfriends ;-), arguing with parents, etc.
"I will NEVER do any of those things. I will ALWAYS listen to you no matter if I have a boyfriend or friends or I am at a party or anything!"

Hahaha! If only this promise was more easily kept.

"Do we love God as much as Carter McMorris?"

There was no way for us to predict that when we chose the name Carter six years ago that millions of other moms were choosing that same name for their little boys. (The same is true for Brice...millions of them all in elementary school!) Thus, everyone from school calls our boys by their first and last names.

During the first week of school, Carter's teacher....Carter McMorris' teacher, I should say...asked the class what made each of them special. Carter answered, "The McMorrises are special because they love God the most." So sweet. As his mom, I am so glad that he knows without hesitation that God is our priority...loving Him, honoring Him, obeying Him. I continue to pray that his faith will grow and change, but always remain this strong and sure.

That answer must have stuck with a classmate of Carter's because his mom told me that they had the following conversation that night at their bedtime prayers.

Gage: "Mommy, how much do we love God?"
Mom: "Umm...a lot. Why do you ask?"
Gage: "Do we love God as much as Carter McMorris?"
Mom: "It's not really a competition. We all love God the same."
Gage: "But Carter McMorris says that the McMorrises are special because they love God THE MOST."

And honestly, if you asked Carter, he probably meant it just like he said it. ;-) He is working on being humble, but if there is something to be done, he will do it the best, most, fastest....always.

Back to School!

Although it snuck up on me, I was more than ready for back to school time! Everyone LOVES their teachers and was thrilled to be back with their friends.

At the risk of embarrassing 2 children, I will not mention names, but I am tired of having kids wet the bed at night and/or wear pull ups. Everyone should be old enough/bodies ready, so now it's just a matter of training them to stay dry through the night. Of course, this means that I have to wake them several times through the night to help them empty their bladders. Fun times. It's just like the newborn stage of sleep deprivation...but with less crying. ;-)