A year ago, I was really wanting a heart-change in my life. I was feeling comfortable, confident, and on top of the world. All of that was good, and life was wonderful, but I was also feeling God calling me to something else. He seems to always do that in my life. He blesses me beyond what I ever imagined, and then I am reminded that I am blessed in order to be a blessing to others. This is not to say that I don't get to enjoy life. We do have SOOOO much fun as a family, and we are really good at napping, too. We are also good at sitting smack dab in the middle of God's blessings and soaking it all up. It is in the DNA of our family to serve though.
It is life-giving for us to find joy and peace and comfort in ways that are not typical of most Americans, or most people. Isn't that what we are called to as Christians though, to live IN this world, but not to become OF this world? It is too easy to get sucked in. Sometimes we need to do things that help us to redefine our source of joy and peace and comfort.
As God laid Africa on my heart, I prayed that seeing that place and its people would bring the heart-change that I was looking for. As the trip neared, I was then worried that I was expecting too much of the 2 weeks we would be there. Then I began praying that if God didn't change my life through this trip, that He might begin a great work in Chloe's life and influence her heart. Friends, in true God-fashion, He didn't do one or the other. He did both.
God sent me back home with a mission and a plan to be a part of His work in Uganda. I had to pinch myself the whole trip, and even now when I think about the children that we held, it all seems surreal. How on earth can we live in such affluence, in so much excess, when people are literally starving just a plane ride away. I honestly feel like I was stuck inside of a documentary. There is no way that what I saw and heard and experienced was real. Those children. Those families. The hundreds of children who we met and hugged and loved on, who were abandoned in fields, in garbage heaps, on the side of the road. Unbelievable. Devastating. Those precious babies. That trip did exactly what I prayed it would. It broke my heart in a way that I can never be the same.
And yet, it's hard to talk about because the words that come out of my mouth are nothing new. We know people are starving. We have seen the commercials and heard the pleas. We know that children are orphaned and that simple medicines could save millions of lives. We know all of the stats, but we feel a world away. We feel like there isn't a true difference we can make. The problems are just.so.BIG.
When people ask about the trip, I say that it was amazing, and it was. It was an incredible time of learning and growing in my faith. It was a blessed time with an amazing group of Christians who each traveled with us with the intention of seeing what God had in store for their next steps in life.
Richard Stearn is the president of Compassion International, and he wrote a book called, "The Hole in Our Gospel". It is a wonderful book and Bible Study, but the image that has stuck with me most is when he wrote about what our reactions are when we hear about a starving child in Africa vs. what our reactions would be if we opened our front door one morning and discovered a starving child on our front porch. Obviously, if a child in need showed up at our front door, we would feed them and clothe them and stop everything to get them the care that they need. When we are faced with a critical need, we find ways to meet the need. That is the message I am struggling to find words for...that these children do exist. These children asked us if we would pray for them. These children want nothing more than food and love. One day, a little girl had a head ache, and she asked me if she could use my lap just to rest her head until she felt better. As I rubbed her back and she rested there, my mothering instincts were going crazy. If this were my child, she would get tylenol for the pain, a big glass of water for hydration, and a nice snuggly blanket on the couch for rest. This little girl just wanted my lap and someone to hold her as she laid on the ground. Bless her heart.
And then....and then....as if that wasn't enough, Chloe gave me this note at the end of our trip...
One night Chloe came to me and said that she felt that God was calling her to do something. She cried as she told me about this feeling in her heart to share a message with the children of the ministry we were at in Kenya. I calmly talked to her as if this was the most normal conversation to be having with my 10 year old daughter, but let me assure you all, I was freaking out. My little girl. My 10 year old was feeling God calling her to act, and she was ready. God. Is. Awesome. Maybe this is normal in some families, but as Dave and I have grown in our faith, we have just prayed that what we have learned and how we choose to live would rub off a little on our kids. We never had the guts to imagine what conversations we might have if God actually took the hearts of our children and began to use them for HIS purposes.
The morning after our conversation, Chloe stood up in front of 208 children and she led worship. She gave a sermon, the sermon that she felt God had given her to share, about how people don't need things to have power, they only need to know Jesus. She had a beautiful object lesson about how strong God is and she read Psalm 93 verse 4 about how God is stronger than the sea. She blew us all away.
And now, 2 months later, Chloe tells me that she has more to share. She asks me how she can make a blog for other people to read about the children in Africa and what struggles they have.
There is a message to be shared, and silly me, I thought I might be the messenger. I am so excited to watch what God is doing in her heart...and to share it with all of you. We just got her blog layout done tonight, but she is anxious to begin writing!
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