What a weekend!
After meeting to pick up Jasmine for the weekend Halie was very sad. As we were driving the hour back home, I looked in the rearview mirror to see tears streaming down Halie's face. I stopped the van and went in the back to hold her. She just said that she was so sad and missed her "other mommy" (Nancy, her previous foster mother). I held her and I prayed with her. We told God that we didn't like feeling this way and that it is so hard when we miss people we love. I tried to give Halie some words to explain her feelings, but she just needed to cry. Although I held her in my arms, my arms were not what could comfort her at that moment. Luckily, after a good lunch and a nap, she woke up happy again.
Saturday was a fun and busy day. I was at a Great Banquet team meeting for the first half of the day, but Dave took the kids to get haircuts, run errands, and play at his school.
The busy morning was follwed by a picnic with all of our Great Banquet friends at Brown's Farm. The kids LOVED the tractor rides. I think they went on 4 or 5 times.
Straight from there we went to the movie night at the kids' school. That is about when we realized that we had packed too much into one day. Although the kids were still doing alright, Dave and I were hitting a wall. We were both exhausted and needed to end the day. Luckily, everyone went to bed easily.
There was a picnic after church today as well. We planned to stay for the potluck lunch, but after the line kept growing and our kids patience was not, we decided to cut it short and head to McDonald's. Of course, the kids were thrilled.
Having Jasmine here for the weekends is great, but it is frustrating for me to feel like such little progress is being made. I feel like we can't completely begin the transistion phase because we're not all together. Halie and Brice are adjusting so well, but then, as soon as Jasmine comes, Halie begins acting out...not listening, throwing toys, etc. I am wondering if she is not upset that Jas gets to stay at "Grandma" Nancy's and she doesn't. We've debated letting her go back to visit or spend a few days at their house, but we want her to understand that she is with us forever, and are afraid that might confuse her more. Any thoughts or advice from my fellow adoptive parents out there?
I did begin telling Halie her "story" today. I talked to her about how Chloe, Carter and Wren grew in my belly, but that she and Brice and Jasmine have been growing in my heart for years. We talked about how she grew in Mommy Brandy's belly and then she got to stay with Grandma and Grandpa until God found just the right family for her. While Grandma was praying for the perfect family for the three of them, we were praying for the perfect three kids for our family. God heard our prayers and brought us together.
Of course, I'm feeling good as I tell her this, and she's listening intently. Then, with lots of thought in her eyes, she says, "I want you to grow in my belly, Cara!" Ummm....deep thoughts from a 4 year old. Oh, well. I planted the seed. I am sure we will have this conversation a million more times in a million different ways as she grows up.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Loving School...I love sending them, they love going! :-)
I am doing my best to get the girls registered for the early childhood program in Unit 5, but guess what?!?! They need paperwork from the previous program before we can move ahead. I am starting to dislike paper all together. I am getting a little bit of sense of why adoptive parents talk about going through a "paper pregnancy". The children don't grow in your belly, but you stress about papers instead and you still have to wait as if it were an actual pregnancy! But, enough of that. Life is wonderful, and I am truly doing my best to trust in God's timing for all of this.
Brice absolutely LOVES kindergarten! He loves his teacher, and he runs so fast when we walk to school in the morning because he just can't wait to get there. I am going to try to get a video of him tomorrow with his little legs and his giant backpack speeding down the sidewalk! It is too cute!
He was so excited after school today to show me a book that he had made...he colored the pre-printed pictures, but the pride he had in would have made one think that he created even the paper it was printed on! He "read" the memorized few pages to me, and he told me about a story that they read in class that went along with the book. I am so excited about all that he will learn over the next year!
Halie is still waiting, as mentioned above, to go to her school. I keep saying that it's not open yet because they don't start until September. She tells everyone, "I will go to school on a bus, but it's still closed." I'm still debating whether I will bus the girls or drive them. She is definately voting to ride the bus though!
Chloe and Carter love school as well. Both of them are doing well with the adjustment of the larger family as well as the beginning of the school year. In church last Sunday, Chloe made a picture of our family (we were all little "lip people") and she included EVERYONE in her family...except herself. It was so sweet.
Wren has had a few really good days...okay, well, I guess I should say...today was a good day! I'll take it!
She really wasn't whiny or fussy at all, and there were no emotional breakdowns as there have been in the past few days. I have to tell you though, it is so painful to hear your baby crying like she is hurt and when you ask her what's wrong she just sobs, "I need you Mommy!" Ugh! Mommy guilt...the gift that keeps on giving.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Cool Thought
I am not wishing away a second of this time in our lives, but I can't help but think... won't it be so cool when the kids can't remember a time when they weren't all together. They will look back at our pictures from Disney this summer and wonder where Brice, Halie and Jasmine are. There will no longer be "new" kids or foster vs. biological kids. They will just all be McMorrises. Wren and Jasmine, at 3 years old, will most likely not remember a life without each other. I absolutely LOVE it!
p.s. Still no waiver on file. Still we wait. Jasmine should be able to come for the weekend, but she is not feeling well. Maybe tomorrow. In God's time, I suppose.
p.s. Still no waiver on file. Still we wait. Jasmine should be able to come for the weekend, but she is not feeling well. Maybe tomorrow. In God's time, I suppose.
Friday, August 20, 2010
The Blessing of Tears
Nancy: A warning from one mom to another: This may be hard to read.
After 3 long hours at the pool today, we all came back tired. I have been letting Halie and Brice stay up from naps this week because they have been having so much fun with the "school kids".
(Sidenote: Halie is so impressed that we get to have "friends come over every day!" Little does she know, this is my job.)
I told these tired kids, 9 total, that they needed to take a break on the couch and watch a movie for a little while. Halie was having a hard time sitting still and not bothering the others, so I made the dreaded threat..."If I hear you one more time, Miss Halie, you will have to go up and take a nap." The words had hardly left my lips when Halie was bugging someone else.
So, knowing that the best thing for kids during a transition is consistency and dependability, I followed through on my threat. Halie and I walked upstairs, and I laid her down in her bed. She was fussing a little and complaining that she didn't want to nap. I said that I was sorry, but that if we don't listen, there are consequences. Then, I walked out of the room.
Her little wimpers gradually grew larger and her cry turned from a "mad that I got in trouble cry" to a "I am really sad and scared cry". It absolutely broke my heart. I went back in the room, and I laid down with Halie. I held her as she sobbed, and then she said, "I want my other mom."
I just hugged her and reassured her. I told that I knew that she missed her other mom, Nancy, and that it would be alright here. The longer I held her, the more she calmed down. I rubbed her back and I was able to tell her how much I love her. I promised her that no matter what she ever says or does, I was going to love her and take care of her. As I repeated those reassurances to her, her eyes slowly closed and she fell asleep. I sat there, continuing to rub her back and thanking God for Halie and this amazing moment with my newest child.
Isn't that just how life goes. We don't want to go through any of the pain, but the comfort and love that comes out of it is such a blessing. I am absolutely in love with these kids.
After 3 long hours at the pool today, we all came back tired. I have been letting Halie and Brice stay up from naps this week because they have been having so much fun with the "school kids".
(Sidenote: Halie is so impressed that we get to have "friends come over every day!" Little does she know, this is my job.)
I told these tired kids, 9 total, that they needed to take a break on the couch and watch a movie for a little while. Halie was having a hard time sitting still and not bothering the others, so I made the dreaded threat..."If I hear you one more time, Miss Halie, you will have to go up and take a nap." The words had hardly left my lips when Halie was bugging someone else.
So, knowing that the best thing for kids during a transition is consistency and dependability, I followed through on my threat. Halie and I walked upstairs, and I laid her down in her bed. She was fussing a little and complaining that she didn't want to nap. I said that I was sorry, but that if we don't listen, there are consequences. Then, I walked out of the room.
Her little wimpers gradually grew larger and her cry turned from a "mad that I got in trouble cry" to a "I am really sad and scared cry". It absolutely broke my heart. I went back in the room, and I laid down with Halie. I held her as she sobbed, and then she said, "I want my other mom."
I just hugged her and reassured her. I told that I knew that she missed her other mom, Nancy, and that it would be alright here. The longer I held her, the more she calmed down. I rubbed her back and I was able to tell her how much I love her. I promised her that no matter what she ever says or does, I was going to love her and take care of her. As I repeated those reassurances to her, her eyes slowly closed and she fell asleep. I sat there, continuing to rub her back and thanking God for Halie and this amazing moment with my newest child.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Finally, a full house!
Although we are still waiting and praying for Jasmine to get here soon, it is so good to have a houseful!
Brice and Halie are adjusting so well. Yesterday each of them said a few times that they wanted to go "home". A phone call to their previous foster mother last night seemed to help. Halie came running to me very excited saying, "Mama said I could stay here forever!". A precious moment.
Both Brice and Halie are so excited about going to school next week. They keep asking if they can go, and I have to tell them it's not open yet. Monday should be an exciting day as Chloe, Brice and Carter head off to school. I am not sure how to tell Halie that her school doesn't start until September.
Chloe is very accepting of the kids now being a part of our family. She has known for a few years that we were praying about adopting. A few weeks ago, when she heard Dave and I talking about this being for sure, she said, "So, does this mean God told you these were the kids?" As if he just called us up and gave us the go ahead.
Carter is Carter. He understands that the kids are now brother and sisters. He has not said anything negative about them being here. He does try to be in charge of them and tell them what to do. I am constantly reminding him that I am the mom and that I can do my job all by myself.
I didn't think Wren was having any issues, she usually just goes with the flow. Yesterday, however, I took Halie and Brice to a meeting and to run some errands. When we returned home, Wren yelled at Halie, "Get out of my stupid home!" Stupid is the "s-word" in our house. It is absolutely not allowed, so she obviously had a lot of anger in that statement. Poor girl. We took some extra snuggle time after that, and I held her as she had a big cry.
Dave and I are loving every moment. Bedtime has gone so smoothly. Halie and Brice got new electric toothbrushes, and they constantly want to brush their teeth. Halie was excited to tell Grandma Nancy, her previous foster mom, about her "noisy kitty toothbrush".
We have told the kids that they can call us whatever they would like, Mom or Cara, Dad or Dave. They go back and forth.
God is just so good. We are so grateful to be lifted up in prayer by so many people during this transition.
Brice and Halie are adjusting so well. Yesterday each of them said a few times that they wanted to go "home". A phone call to their previous foster mother last night seemed to help. Halie came running to me very excited saying, "Mama said I could stay here forever!". A precious moment.
Both Brice and Halie are so excited about going to school next week. They keep asking if they can go, and I have to tell them it's not open yet. Monday should be an exciting day as Chloe, Brice and Carter head off to school. I am not sure how to tell Halie that her school doesn't start until September.
Chloe is very accepting of the kids now being a part of our family. She has known for a few years that we were praying about adopting. A few weeks ago, when she heard Dave and I talking about this being for sure, she said, "So, does this mean God told you these were the kids?" As if he just called us up and gave us the go ahead.
Carter is Carter. He understands that the kids are now brother and sisters. He has not said anything negative about them being here. He does try to be in charge of them and tell them what to do. I am constantly reminding him that I am the mom and that I can do my job all by myself.
I didn't think Wren was having any issues, she usually just goes with the flow. Yesterday, however, I took Halie and Brice to a meeting and to run some errands. When we returned home, Wren yelled at Halie, "Get out of my stupid home!" Stupid is the "s-word" in our house. It is absolutely not allowed, so she obviously had a lot of anger in that statement. Poor girl. We took some extra snuggle time after that, and I held her as she had a big cry.
Dave and I are loving every moment. Bedtime has gone so smoothly. Halie and Brice got new electric toothbrushes, and they constantly want to brush their teeth. Halie was excited to tell Grandma Nancy, her previous foster mom, about her "noisy kitty toothbrush".
We have told the kids that they can call us whatever they would like, Mom or Cara, Dad or Dave. They go back and forth.
God is just so good. We are so grateful to be lifted up in prayer by so many people during this transition.
The Day is here!!!
August 16, 2010
I am so incredilbly excited to share with everyone that the McMorris Family will be growing beginning tomorrow!!!
This means that as the school year kicks off we will be making it a priority to focus inward on our family and helping each and everyone of us transition into this new life successfully. Keep up the prayers! I swear that my life has been so blessed due to the countless people who are lifting me up in prayer daily. Let me tell you, when I am exhausted and impatient, I just think about all of the love and support that I have, and I get that second wind. You all are an amazing support system near and far!
Although we are still waiting on one piece of paperwork to be completed (we've been waiting for over a month as it has gotten misplaced by DCFS a few times), Brice (5) and Halie (4) will be moving in for good tomorrow morning. The paper that we are waiting on will allow us to also have Jasmine (3). Now that the paper has been located, it should be done before the week is over...fingers crossed.
(The reason that we need this waiver is due to the ages of the kids. We will have 5 children under the age of 6 in our home, and the typical number that DCFS allows is 4 children under the age of 6.)
For those of you to whom this is complete news, I will give a little background. In June we were asked to watch three children while their foster parents, from a different county, were on vacation. We agreed to watch them for a week, and in doing so, we found out that they would be available for adoption in August and that they would most likely be split up since they didn't know of a family in their area willing to take 3 young children. Well, in meeting them and hearing all of this, Dave and I prayed, talked with trusted friends and prayed some more. We made a pledge after our previous adoption attempt to live a "Year of No Crazy", and that year was not up until September. Still, we felt that God was giving us the green light, so we proceeded. Since the week-long visit in July we have been waiting on lots of DCFS red tape and paperwork, but have been able to talk to the kids on the phone several times per week. (Have any of you tried to have a conversation with a 3 year old on the phone? Not an easy task!!!) Last weekend we were able to have the kids visit for 2 days, and in that time I was able to introduce them to my family at the Swanson Family Picnic. We also were so blessed to attend my childhood church, Wildwood Presbyterian Church, where Halie and Jasmine ran around the coffee hour hugging everyone in sight. Too cute!
Although the kids came into DCFS care after some neglect in their early years, I am so happy to say, that they are the most sweet and loving kids. They have had a wonderful foster family for the past year who have nurtured them and provided all of the educational and developmental services that they needed. Only minor delays remain for some of the kids, and their progress indicates that they will all catch up and thrive in a stable, stimulating and loving environment. Yay!!!
August 31st the biological parents will have their rights' terminated. They can either sign them over willingly, or the courts will terminate their rights for them. At that time, we will begin the adoption process. The children need to be in our home for 6 months before they can legally be adopted by us.
So many people have commended Dave and I for "taking in" foster kids, and I wish I felt that selfless. The truth is, we were not done being parents. We knew we wanted to grow our family some more, and from very early on in my life, the thought of kids going to bed without a Mom and Dad to hug and kiss them just weighed on my heart. Did you know that there are 147 million orphans worldwide? Well, now there are 147 million minus 3. We are so blessed to be a part of this miracle.
With a grateful heart,
Cara
I am so incredilbly excited to share with everyone that the McMorris Family will be growing beginning tomorrow!!!
This means that as the school year kicks off we will be making it a priority to focus inward on our family and helping each and everyone of us transition into this new life successfully. Keep up the prayers! I swear that my life has been so blessed due to the countless people who are lifting me up in prayer daily. Let me tell you, when I am exhausted and impatient, I just think about all of the love and support that I have, and I get that second wind. You all are an amazing support system near and far!
Although we are still waiting on one piece of paperwork to be completed (we've been waiting for over a month as it has gotten misplaced by DCFS a few times), Brice (5) and Halie (4) will be moving in for good tomorrow morning. The paper that we are waiting on will allow us to also have Jasmine (3). Now that the paper has been located, it should be done before the week is over...fingers crossed.
(The reason that we need this waiver is due to the ages of the kids. We will have 5 children under the age of 6 in our home, and the typical number that DCFS allows is 4 children under the age of 6.)
For those of you to whom this is complete news, I will give a little background. In June we were asked to watch three children while their foster parents, from a different county, were on vacation. We agreed to watch them for a week, and in doing so, we found out that they would be available for adoption in August and that they would most likely be split up since they didn't know of a family in their area willing to take 3 young children. Well, in meeting them and hearing all of this, Dave and I prayed, talked with trusted friends and prayed some more. We made a pledge after our previous adoption attempt to live a "Year of No Crazy", and that year was not up until September. Still, we felt that God was giving us the green light, so we proceeded. Since the week-long visit in July we have been waiting on lots of DCFS red tape and paperwork, but have been able to talk to the kids on the phone several times per week. (Have any of you tried to have a conversation with a 3 year old on the phone? Not an easy task!!!) Last weekend we were able to have the kids visit for 2 days, and in that time I was able to introduce them to my family at the Swanson Family Picnic. We also were so blessed to attend my childhood church, Wildwood Presbyterian Church, where Halie and Jasmine ran around the coffee hour hugging everyone in sight. Too cute!
Although the kids came into DCFS care after some neglect in their early years, I am so happy to say, that they are the most sweet and loving kids. They have had a wonderful foster family for the past year who have nurtured them and provided all of the educational and developmental services that they needed. Only minor delays remain for some of the kids, and their progress indicates that they will all catch up and thrive in a stable, stimulating and loving environment. Yay!!!
August 31st the biological parents will have their rights' terminated. They can either sign them over willingly, or the courts will terminate their rights for them. At that time, we will begin the adoption process. The children need to be in our home for 6 months before they can legally be adopted by us.
So many people have commended Dave and I for "taking in" foster kids, and I wish I felt that selfless. The truth is, we were not done being parents. We knew we wanted to grow our family some more, and from very early on in my life, the thought of kids going to bed without a Mom and Dad to hug and kiss them just weighed on my heart. Did you know that there are 147 million orphans worldwide? Well, now there are 147 million minus 3. We are so blessed to be a part of this miracle.
With a grateful heart,
Cara
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