Oh, just one YEAR!?!?

It's so ironic that my previous post is labeled contentment because I am truly only content when there is nothing to be discontented about. :)

We had our monthly meeting with the adoption caseworker today. She called last week to finalize some details for the paperwork and said that she would have the kids' complete files to give me. This is the last step before we begin the legal aspect of adopting the kids. I asked my daycare parents to come pick up kids early even because this was supposed to be the "big paperwork meeting" where we went over the kid's complete histories and had any questions answered.

The caseworker showed up with just a notebook in her hands. I was worried as I invited her into the house, but I figured she'd get the rest from the car later. How naive am I? She sat down and was saying hi to the kids when I sweetly asked, "Since we get their files today, what is the next step in the process?"

"Well," she says, "I was just about done with those when my supervisor said that I might as well slow down on it because he wants the kids to be in your home for a whole year before you officially adopt."

A YEAR?!?! Seriously? Does her supervisor just get to make up his own rules? We are well aware that there is a 6 month "waiting period" before an adoption can be finalized. That is fairly typical whether it's a domestic or international adoption. We have a court date set, we want to get the kids baptized and stop having to explain why sometimes their last name is McMorris and sometimes it's Boomgarden.

Grrrrr!

So, there is my venting. DCFS is a very frustrating agency to deal with.
Before all of this occurred today I heard the song "While I'm waiting" by John Waller . I always think of families waiting for their adopted children when I hear this. I think about the families who long for their babies, either for a successful pregnancy or for a baby living in horrid conditions in another country.

Today I thought, what if I had heard this song when I was in college. At that time, all I wanted was to get married and become a mom. I kissed many frogs trying to find my prince. I went through lots of heartache trying to find happiness. Looking back, I often think to myself, what if you could have the life you have now, but could have avoided all of that worrying and hurt. I obviously would have worried a lot less and made different choices. I would have been more faithful, knowing that God knew his plan for me, plans to prosper and not harm me. Plans for a hope and a future. At that time, if I had, as the song suggests,  patiently waited upon the Lord...hopeful...taking every step in obedience, I could have enjoyed the moment, the phase of my life and not worried so much about the future.

I want my hindsight to be 20/20. I want to not worry about how this will all play out. I want to just give it to God and trust that He will work it all out in his perfect timing.

BUT....

What if what God wants is for me to be the squeaky wheel and get what I want? Hahaha! That is always my default. Recently I had a quote up on facebook that I snagged from someone else. The quote says, "Trust like it all depends on God, but work like it all depends on you." That is how I have always tried to live. Sometimes I think I may need to stop working so hard though and truly give it to God.
Is today the day? We shall see.