Contentment

Since I was being harassed by my brother about being a "blog slacker", I figured I should get something out here in cyberspace. (Thanks for the motivation, Adam!)

I guess it's a good thing, but life is just plugging along, so I never feel like I have anything profound to share. I read the blogs of several other people, and they are always so insightful. Like any good sitcom, they begin with a problem or a story, and by the end of the post, they have neatly wrapped up what they learned, what God was revealing to them, or the new idea that the problem inspired. Our daily life presents many "things that make me go hmm", but as soon as I begin to reflect, someone is spilling milk, dripping syrup or screaming at a sibling, and I am forced back into the present moment. Some day I will have time to reflect, and I hope that I will have ignored the right things and taken the time to really handle the things that needed my attention.

For instance, the kids often tell me that they miss me. In my grown-up mind I think, "Seriously, I am here every single day. I drop you off at school, pick you up from school, help you with homework, etc. I never have a minute to myself. How can you possibly miss me?!?!" But, my mom-mind realizes that they miss being with me.
They miss having special time. This is the difference between quality time and quantity time. They miss snuggling and talking one-on-one. They miss sharing with me the things that are not necessary, but are simply relationship building. Then I remember the whole point of the "Year of No Crazy", (which we are continuing into 2011...it may just become a way of life!), Dave and I wanted to be here to transition our family through this phase. We wanted to be available emotionally, physically, and mentally to our kids, and that meant letting go of other commitments and saying no to things that we really wanted to do. Since our calendar is so empty now, we have chosen Tuesdays and Thursdays to be our "date days". Not for Dave and I, but for the kids. On Tuesdays, one child gets a date with Mom, and on Thursday a different child gets a date with Dad. In 3 weeks, every child will have had a date. In 6 weeks, each child will have had a date with each of us. (Don't worry, Dave and I do take the time for lots of dates for ourselves as well!)

I read somewhere that the best way to know what your family values is to look at your checkbook and your calendar. Where you spend your money and your time tell you what is important. Since October we've been working to get our finances to reflect our values, and scheduling dates helped get our calendar reflecting that as well. Whether you have 1 child or 10 children, spending intentional time with them is a challenge. Dates remind me to seek out other one-on-one time as well.

Candy Land and Memory have provided some good times in the past few weeks as well. After dinner, rather than curling up on the couch with a TV program, they kids have realized that if we play a board game together, they get my undivided attention for the entire length of the game. It is such a simple thing, but one that we too often forget to take the time for.

In light of this whole journey that we are on, Dave and I have been asked to present at a parenting conference coming up early in February. Our session is called, "Living simply in an age of acquisition: fostering contentment in your family". It is funny to me that we were asked to teach others about this topic, because I feel like this is the lesson we are trying to learn. We are learning to be content with what we have, live on a budget, and plan for the future as adults. Teaching that to the kids is hard when we haven't mastered it ourselves yet. We believe that we are supposed to teach this though, so we will do our best. Every time I start to doubt that we have anything to share, I say over and over again, "God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called."

So, that's what is going on in my head lately.

The kids are all doing well.
Mara came by to visit yesterday with her boyfriend's dog, Ellie. She is doing so well at school and is gearing up to move out of the dorms and into an apartment next fall.
Chloe has a fun social life with of sleepovers almost every weekend.
Carter is doing so well in kindergarten that his teacher is starting to have him do first grade work.
Brice has two different girlfriends that stick with him for lunch and reccess each day. He is quiet and reserved at school, but once he gets home and starts playing the Wii, he is loud and 100% "5 year old boy"!
Halie went to a counselor a few times to see if she had anything going on emotionally that we needed to be on top of, but the counselor said that she is so well adjusted, that she doesn't think Halie needs to see anyone at this point. Halie was so comfortable talking to her all about Mommy, Daddy, Mommy Brandy, Daddy John, Grandma Nancy and the rest of her "family" that the counselor couldn't even keep up with who was who!
Wren is about to turn 4 years old, and that is just amazing to me. She loves to write jiberish and then "read" her stories to me. She is so proud when she accidentally writes a real word.
Jasmine can now spell her name, and I LOVE to hear her do that! We went shopping yesterday, and she would look at each tag and say, "J-A-S-M-I-N-E, it says it's too big Mommy." Obviously she thinks every word is spelled that way, but hey, it's a start!